The Best of Joe R. Lansdale Contest Winners
From The Guardian:
"Let this volume introduce you to his uncensored, unfiltered world. He is a writer deserving of a wide and appreciative audience."
Now, let's get to the contest winners!
Revolution Science Fiction issued a challenge: write a horror story in 67 words, and make it fun and weird. The winners will receive a free copy of The Best of Joe R. Lansdale.
Here are the winning stories:
Day 1 Winner:
Eyes smoldered red, vicious jaws opened far too wide, razor teeth anticipated flesh.
The little dog charged.
Suddenly, Top Hat & Cane was moving. His dark cloak swirled, a ball of silver became a streak.
The small animal mewled with pain then a midget lay dead in its place on the sidewalk.
Top Hat & Cane readjusted his cloak, brushed idly at a lapel. -- Thomas MuellerDay 2 Winner:
Battle ends, men scream. Night falls. Severed legs walk slowly to a pile, followed by crawling arms, which form a giant shape with multiple arms and dozens of legs, hundreds of fingers. A voice wails "never again," but a louder voice commands the arms to commence firing; the body disintegrates.
A mutilated head rolls out. "Told you to shoot that bastard in the mouth." -- Gay Fifer
Marko’s front door tore away in a flurry of wood splinters. Beyond hovered a massive, phantasmagorical whale-like being, translucent and pale. Tentacles writhed around its mouth.
As one grabbed Marko about the middle and hauled him toward the cavernous mouth, Marko screamed, "Why?"
The whale boomed: "Your father only APPEARED human. He was really a ninth-dimensional plankton, and so are you."
Then it ate him. -- Allen Wise
The secretary put the small brown box on the desk of Jack Watts, head of Warner Brothers’ animation department, and skittered away.
"Is it true?" Jack asked, absent-mindedly opening the box. "Has Bugs Bunny really joined Al-Qaeda?"
A nervous, sweaty underling adjusted his collar as Jack’s hand reached into the box and reappeared holding a bright red cylindrical object.
A lit stick of dynamite. -- Philip BurchDay 5 Winner
Terror screamed through her brain as demand for performance meant everything. All she could see was the large expanse of black: board, boots, uniform. The crop snapped across her back.
“Wrong! That is not a sentence. It’s a FRAGMENT. Take her to the shower chamber."
As she was marched away, she nearly wept. No one told her grammar would mean life, and now, death. -- Rhonda Eudaly-
Congratulations to all the winners, and don't forget to click the links to read each day's awesomely weird runner's up.